Do you think he would eventually marry me?
my bf for 4 yrs and 3 months went from here in the province to manila philippines to apply as a nurse abroad.tonight he texted me that in 2 month's time,he would probably be leaving but i must work on losing weight so he could come back home before leaving for abroad and get me pregnant.i reacted to this statement that we are not yet married and that if i got pregnant,it would be out of wedlock or out of singleness or to some a disgrace or accident.i told him that having a baby is not the symbol for that and it should be marriage.i asked him if he plans to marry me or is it just the baby he wants.actually for 4 yrs we have been struggling to get pregnant but i wasn't at all.now he said that he doesn't have the money for a wedding yet but come to think of it,having a baby is harder than holding a civil wedding. now i felt hurt that he said he isn't financially stable to be ready to get married yet.besides,he points out that the papers for filing abroad will be changed especially his status and it will take another longer time for him to go abroad.whereas having a child would take 9 months and definitely he is already earning abroad by that time. now, do you think my bf thinks smartly?do i have to be hurt that he won't marry me yet before having a baby?he sends me this message almost everyday that he wants to start a family with me already...what do you guys think?pls answer please please thanks a bunch... anyway, i am in love with this bf of mine and it somehow pleases me that he is already planning things for us.... we are really financially lacking and he is doing things like leaving to work for abroad to earn and start a life.he is a nurse and he knows that weight affects fertility and i am already overweight for my age and height. thanks for the answers anyway. he also do not want to get married yet because i am still in my college.just today as an update, we have come to agree that i'll finish my school first and he will be financing me before settling down and having a baby. thanks anyways...
Marriage & Divorce - 5 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
It sounds like neither of you have life together enough to plan a wedding or having a child. He is leaving the country and tells you to work on losing weight....whats that all about? I would wait and see how things work out before planning either event. If he was that interested in planning a life with you then why is he leaving the country? Too many questions, not enough answers......I would wait.
2 :
He wants you to lose weight first? He's a jerk. Let this one stay single and you find yourself a man that loves you the way you are and who you don't have to beg to marry you.
3 :
we really are not living in a traditional world anymore dont worry what other people think live your own life and make yourself happy, the only thing i am concerned about is the comment about your weight if its for health reasons ok but if its something else he needs to learn to accept you if you are going to make a lifelong decision like having a baby
4 :
I don't get it - you've been "struggling for 4 years to get pregnant", but when he mentions trying again in a few months, you freak out over the "shame" of it all? You need to decide where you stand on the issue. Either a child out of wedlock is something you want or something you don't want - make up your mind. And we all know that weight affects fertility, so what he said wasn't totally out of line. I assume you're not obese and that's when your fertility becomes an issue, but maybe he's misinformed and thinks that 10 or 15 extra pounds is a problem. As for whether or not he'll marry you, a baby is no guarantee of a wedding.
5 :
We as women should know one thing, If we have to ask question like this we already know the answer we just don't like the conclusion we have come to.
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